Baby, It's *Still* Cold Outside

San Francisco has been hit by a serious cold snap that would take the spring out of anyone's step. I know people say this every year, but it really does seem colder this year than in preceding winters. Sans Christmas trees, stockings, and twinkling lights, the chilliness has lost its charm.

This morning's Design*Sponge roundup of fireplace accesories cozied me right back up to frigid temperatures, though. If only I actually had a working fireplace, I would absolutely have to have these black cat andirons. And by the way, Sears? Who knew? These would be awesome at Halloween, too.

A Whiter Shade of Pale

Actually, just the opposite. That title would more appropriately address my complexion. Over the holiday break, I took some time to turn our coffee table into a slightly darker shade of brown.

For some reason, I convinced myself that only an oval coffee table would do for our living room, so when I snagged this one off Craig's List for only $20, I was pretty stoked. Not only does it fit the bill shape-wise, it is perfectly on the demure side for the limited space we have. The only problems were the plethora of scratches and ring marks and the not-so-yummy honey colored stain that was clashing with our mahogany entertainment console a mere 2.5' away. My solution was same one that I bring to most problems: paint it glossy white! All scratched and banged up? Paint it glossy white! We're ending fiscal year 2009 in a $110K deficit? Paint it glossy white! You get the picture.

Will? Not so much a fan of all the glossy white in our home. He really wanted to keep it the original wood and thought it would be nice to match the entertainment console. And so, in an act of selfless love and devotion, I let him get his way on a decor thing just this once, and set out for Cole Hardware for varnish stripper, a drop cloth, stain, and varnish. Regrettably, what I did not buy was a facemask. Still getting sawdust out of my ears and nose. Amazingly healthy.

With cats properly secured away from my work area (the kitchen table - ironic?), my drop cloth in place, and the mouse sander on stand-by, I went to work .....

BEFORE: when will people learn to use coasters???

STEP 1: letting a thick coat of varnish stripper do what it does best. Later I noticed that a little of it had eeped out around the bottle and eaten off the label. Very glad I had some yellow rubber gloves on hand.

STEP 2: no picture of this one because I probably forgot due to being loopy off the toxic fumes .... Though this varnish remover was an absolute miracle potion/toxin, it took some serious elbow grease to scrape off the varnish. It was actually decently effective to get it off the tabletop, but it was almost impossible to get it off the curvy (but adorable, nonetheless) legs, which meant extra sanding later.

STEP 3: bring on the sanding! While the stripper effectively removed much of the varnish, it of course does not remove the wood stain. It needed to go! Enter more elbow grease. Here's the table after over two hours of sanding. It took about another hour to get it completely polished off around the legs. Poor naked coffee table...

STEP 4: this is just one coat of stain! In the store, I was actually unsure whether or not the stain would be dark enough, but it sure as heck as was due to my sanding method (see "Lessons Learned" below). Please note that it is dark outside ... still working ...

STEP 5: in the morning, once the stain is nice and dry, I applied the first coat of varnish. Then I continued to do that every morning for the next two mornings, for a total of three coats.

Overall, I am extremely happy with the final result and so glad I did not take the easy way out by painting it white. Sure, it has a few imperfections, but they are reminders of a novice project well done.

LESSONS LEARNED:

1. They are not kidding when they say wear a mask and ensure ample ventilation.

2. Varnish stripper is good at removing stuff. Like skin. Wear gloves!

3. Using coarse sandpaper for the entire project takes less time, but the rough surface soaks up more stain than a smoother one, yielding a darker color than you may have intended.

4. Sometimes boys are right.

Oh, Deer!

Guilty as charged: I treated myself. And not a moment too soon.

A couple months ago, I was feeling particularly bummed out at work, so I decided to visit one of my favorite websites to pine over their wares: keepcalmgallery.com. What better place than one commanding me to "Keep Calm" in a moment such as that? I first discovered the site, which sells the most incredible prints, tea towels, and post cards on the planet, through my beloved Domino. On the last page of each issue they would ask some fabulous, stylish woman to list off her Top 10 favorite objects. One woman selected the "Keep Calm Carry On" print (guess where it's available?), and I instantly fell in love with it. I cannot imagine a phrase better suited to remind me daily in a stiff upper lip, eloquent, British sort of way to basically ... Chill Out.

Per the website's description, the poster was "produced upon the outbreak of World War 2. The original poster was issued as a means of allaying public fear. The poster was held in reserve for use only in times of extreme crisis. Although thousands were produced, only a handful ever saw the light of day." Good sense and a nice dash of history all in one! Loves it. I was extremely dismayed to discover that not only does the site have a stable of these gorgeous prints in all different colors and varieties, they also sell a zillion other incredibly unique, cheeky, interesting, colorful prints that I am dying to own.

Given that the "Keep Calm" poster is a staple of said stable, it is not going anywhere. The other limited edition one's however.... As I found myself perusing, I read them cleverly and enticingly notifying me that one I particularly loved (below) was the last one in stock! Hmm, I love it, it is the last one of only eighty in the world, it is signed, YES, I am going to need to get that. But by my logic, if I'm already paying the flat rate for shipping, why not order another print I have been admiring over the past year since I discovered the site and get more bang for my buck? This is the sort of logic that knicks away at savings accounts and exacerbates Mastercard bills. But why work at a job you hate if you aren't willing to buy something for yourself now and again? Hence, Oh, Deer! (in gold) came into my life, as well.

The reason for bringing up this two-month old purchase is a perfect recessionista confluence of circumstances: one morning as I looked at the prints, sadly rolled up in tissue paper I wondered if I ever, ever would get the things framed? It did, after all, take me - not exaggerating at all pathetically - nine years and countless moves to frame a gorgeous La Boheme print. That same morning when I got into work there was e-coupon waiting for me in my inbox for Cheap Pete's Framing. Must do it this weekend!

Decrepit Dahlias

While I am on the subject of Martha, I will admit that not only do I purchase her products, I steal her ideas, as well. More realistically, the ideas of her large, extensive, talented team of home professionals that I curse as I sit behind my desk.

I was looking for creative, chic Halloween decor ideas, so I perused her website in hopes that I would find suggestions beyond orange and black streamers and bat confetti. Voila! Spooky flowers - I loved this idea. I picked up some orange and deep purple dahlias at Trader Joe's, arranged them, and Halloweenified (look it up) them with cobwebs. Simple, elegant, and creepy - that's all I really ever ask for.

The Couch Coup

Recently, I accomplished the greatest feat in my young career as a consumer: the Couch Coup.

Flashback to October 2008: Will and I had just moved into our new apartment and were bewilderedly wandering through the Macy's furniture department on a desperate quest to find the perfect couch. Having already been, well, pretty much everywhere, we had discovered that there is no such thing as instant gratification when it comes to couch shopping. Apparently, we had our assumptions incorrect: find apartment, then find couch. Not so. Word of advice: go into Crate & Barrel six months before you plan to move, then maybe - maybe - your couch would be ready by the time you moved in. Horse-hockey. Exasperated, down-trodden, tailbones aching, it began to feel like we'd be sitting on the hardwood floors forever, and we were at the point where we'd be happy to take any darn couch in stock. And so we did ...

Flashforward to circa now: the couch sucks! There are few days that go by without me verbally expressing my hatred for the boxy boat anchor. I felt it was time for action. My new couch longings were largely catalysed by an overwhelming desire to organize our living room furniture, which is challenging in our awkwardly shaped, narrow rectangle of a room. Furthermore, the genuine issue was also the rapidly sinking cushions, slovenly appearance, and my inability to sit on it without back troubles. Dilemma: all back comforts aside, how does one justify obtaining a brand-new, preferably significantly smaller couch when you pretty much just paid off the old one? In other words: WWRD? What Would a Recessionista Do? Exchange it! After two weeks of daily phone calls to the their store (and sometimes their India-based call center), one visit from a technician who wanted to open the cushions and stuff them (like reverse lipo for a couch), and one very impassioned, logically-fallacious appeal to Macy's sense of tradition and quality, I made it happen.

Zip! Out with the old and in with the new this Saturday. Goodbye boat anchor, hello gorgeous! Full refund on the old couch and money to spare on our exchange credit. Who needs a new cake tip set? You guessed it.

P.S. Is it a bad sign that this is the most exciting thing that's happened in recent memory? :)

Bizarre Obsessions OR… These are a Few of My Favorite [Décor] Things

You may not have aspirations to own a taxidermied bat pinned onto silk damask gracefully framed in a shadow box, and for that, I applaud you. If, on the other hand, you are like me, you may be wishing you had the one available at Nena’s Flowers and Gifts on Haight Street, a really strange little curiosity shop specializing in the unique, macabre, and antique. Given that said taxidermied bat is a) $120 and b) utterly distasteful to Will, it doesn’t look like I’ll be picking it up anytime soon.

Here are a few other oddities and knick-knacks I just keep inexplicably loving:
Deer – really, I LOVE them; Ravens and other black birds; Sparrows; Birds in general; Trendy wallpaper; Matroyska dolls; Yellow; Woodland touches (e.g. a waxed tree stump for an end table); Anything even slightly reminding me of Alice in Wonderland; Teacups (see previous); Bees; Seahorses and starfish; Bell jars; Silhouettes; Blue; All things vintage and retro, especially if given a modern twist; Melamine, particularly if any of the above is on it.

Seeming as though they set out to accommodate my odd tastes, the designer Thomas Paul and the L.A. home store Show have made about 1,000 things among them that I would love to own. Here is a montage of images from their online stores that are a few of my favorite things…

THOMAS PAUL :: designer of the most incredible pillows I’ve ever seen, not to mention awesome melamine plate sets (I actually bought the Matroyska doll set on eBay awhile back and love, LOVE them – Will even does, too!)


SHOW :: I love pretty much everything they sell. The alabaster stage in large is the first thing on my list!

Bea-uti-ful!

Sheridan has been putting her big heart and copious artistic talent to excellent use at San Francisco's Family House. The mission of Family House, Inc. is to serve children with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses and their families, by providing physical comforts and emotional support free from financial concerns.

The beautiful murals you see are her labors of love over the past two years. What a wonderful environment for kids who are enduring so much to get to play in - well done, Sher!

Smoking Haute

Will and I finally - FINALLY - get to have our guest room! I will post pictures soon, but it's already painted (thanks to my mom, I'm of little help in that department) and has a few surprises waiting in it for Will, like a comfy leather club chair I found for an absolute steal on good old Craigslist.

The guest room is actually a guest room/library/smoking room. Good thing I don't work for ACS anymore, or that last one would never fly. One of the things Will has really wanted is a very classic old heavy crystal ashtray. eBay to the rescue! This one is on it's way. :)

Cultivating my gilded thumb

I was sadder than sad when my beloved Domino magazine went under several months ago. We only had 5 issues together! A loving relationship tragically cut short. Their website was especially good, too, particularly for neat little features like creating your own terrarium. When I first hear "terrarium," I only think of holding a toad by the name of Norman captive in one for several weeks until it became blaringly apparent that he would have none of the crickets and other bugs I continually foisted upon him (don't fret, he was eventually released back into "wild," also known as the camellia bush).

On the other hand, Domino's versions are a great deal more attractive. I just love how elegant and charming these little plants look in bell jars! Now "terrarium" conjures up images of Victorian hothouses, bustles, and little finches in gilded cages. Further evidence I was born in the wrong era (i.e. century!).

I'm dying to make a few to put on my mantle, and I think they would make great gifts, as well. Keep a sharp eye out for me if you're ever wandering a flea-market, etc. for bell jars! Unfortunately, the directions went away with the website, so I'll really be winging it.